Föto Ops

Foto Ops
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This probably has too much exposition just to explain the simple joke of an artist who takes photo ops seriously. Although I think most conceptual art is bunk, it does involve more effort than a photo op.

Just like any other form of advertising, photo ops aren’t aimed at people who can think for themselves. They’re squarely targeting the morons who don’t read anything and only get their news from the few pictures they see in the paper on their way to the comics page.

I was going to compile a list of the lamest photo ops this Administration has pulled, but I am lazy. Plus I’m pretty sure almost everyone can remember the really shitty ones. In fact, ten years from now, those photo ops will probably be the only things most people can remember about this Administration. All they do is photo ops. I’m pretty sure they haven’t done anything spontaneous or sincere in front of a camera since their baby pictures were taken.

Extra Comic

I did a special Halloween comic for Campus Progress. You can find it here, along with comics by Matt and August.

If that doesn’t satisfy your jones for non-BFW related crap I do and you happen to be in the Boston area, swing by the Tribe Theater tonight and watch me flail about like a moron.

Mass. Monster Madness

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Halloween is one of the few holidays that even an atheist like myself can get excited about. I’ve loved monster movies since as long as I can remember, especially B-movie crap like the awful Basket Case and Puppet Master series. The entire premise of this cartoon is just an excuse to draw monsters.

I really have no problem with Salem, MA. Sure it’s tacky, and their town logo makes light of the mass hysteria that gripped the town, but that was 300 years ago. Anyone who’d be offended is long dead. Plus the wax museum is hilarious and they even have their own Beer Works. In fact, I love Salem so much, I was just there 18 years ago.

My one problem with Salem is the modern day witches who treat it like some sort of Mecca. What a bunch of morons. The reason the witch trials were such a scandal is because no one was actually a witch. If you think some die-hard Puritan Christian would move to what was then the edge of the world because of their faith, then suddenly become some Gaia-worshipping Wiccan, no wonder you think Ouija boards work.

Don’t forget to buy things, it’s the only way I’ll be able to afford bags of fun size candy.

Boo Technology! Yay Technology!

I’m about two years late to the party, but I only just got around to converting all my music into mp3s. It was a pain in the ass, but it’s nice having my older CDs back in the rotation. Although most of my favorites still hold up, I admit that there are some stinkers in there. I can’t for the life of me explain why I held onto that Candlebox CD for the past 12 years. It survived at least five moves and a fire! Anyone who’s overly nostalgic about all the great music in the early nineties needs to be locked in a room with that piece of crap for a night. I still couldn’t throw it away though. I’m pretty sure it’s the last thing I bought before I became an elitist snob.

Anyway, now that I have an obscene amount of music to slog through, I finally caved and now let the whims of some algorithim in my computer tell me what I want to listen to. It’s much more efficient than my previous method of checking, rechecking, staring blankly with my mouth agape, drooling on an ironic t-shirt, and then just playing the same ten albums at the top of the pile over and over again.

And thanks to the marvels of our glorious society, you can eavesdrop on this entire process. I’ve only just started using Audioscrobbler, but so far it seems to be an excellent way for me to find new music without talking to people. I recommend it to anyone who likes music but isn’t a big fan of going outside and/or wearing pants.

For the Amish and Shakers among you who are only just beginning to put reflectors on your mp3 players, I highly recommend this blog. It is the rocketship that will launch you to the top of Obscure Mountain, which towers over all those losers in Top 40 Valley.

Poor Delusional DeLay

For some reason the Globe followed the bug man as he campaigns around his gerrymandered district:

DeLay acknowledged that he has a bigger challenge ahead of him because of his redistricting plan. But, when asked if he has any regrets about pushing it, he responded with an emphatic no and an attack on the Democrats who he said have sought to demonize him.

”Not at all — are you kidding?” DeLay told the Globe after the Richmond event. ”It’s amazing to me the strategy of Democrats. The politics of personal destruction isn’t working. In fact, it’s backlashing.”

I’m not sure why I read the article, but reading that DeLay is forced to campaign in small, “Democratic heckler” free groups in his own district made me happy.

Also, If Lampson wins, I’ll take back everything I ever said about Texas.

18 Cent Book Bin

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It’s been five months since the last book bin. And believe it or not, more than one person has told me it’s their favorite bit. So here you go, some more jokes about books.

Before anyone gets offended, there are several graphic novels I actually enjoy. However, an overwhelming majority of them are nothing but self-indulgent, introspective bullshit, and about as interesting as a 13-year-old girl’s illustrated poetry.

Good news everybody! Collectors of things I’ve sneezed on will be happy to know they can buy original BFW cartoons starting with this week’s Book Bin and every one after that. I finally figured out a way to get the line art to look all purdy without Photoshop. Just send me an email if you’re interested.

Next Week: Frankenstein’s forgotten history.

Darrell Hammond Needs to Stop

I rag on SNL all the time, and with good reason, but it’s currently the only occasionally decent sketch show on TV these days. (Stella’s not technically sketch, and everything else might as well be Hee-Haw) So far this season’s been hit or miss as always, but at least there’s some new blood and it seems like fewer sketches are going on for ten minutes or longer. Tina Fey’s maternity leave probably has something to with that.

What really bugs me about the show is Darrell Hammond and his three impressions. Clinton’s been out of office for five years. The writers are probably forcing Clinton into a sketch every week out of pity for poor unfunny Hammond. Phil Hartman was so great because he did impressions and his own characters. Hammond is just a lump who does the same thing over and over again. Hartman left SNL to pursue things that utilized more of his talents. Hammond is clinging onto SNL for dear life because he knows there’s nothing else he can do.

Also, Mya Rudolph can sing. Great, but that’s no reason to cram a “wacky” variety show sketch into the show all the time.

Think I’m a negative nelly who shits on other people’s parades? Then come to the Tribe Theater the 27th and shit on my parade. And then who will be the parade-shitter? Answer: You.

Meet Mr. Dooley

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Please excuse the appearance of this cartoon. I was trying out a few new things to improve the print quality of the comic and I also tried to cram in some product shilling for the three people who don’t read the comic online. The result is something even messier than usual.

Fortunately for me, Bush announced his second Supreme Court nominee this week. When I wrote this, I was just making fun of Michael “Heckuva Job Brownie” Brown, a joke that was about a month past its expiration date. If Harriet Miers truly is the best person for the job, that must mean the flunkies Bush surrounds himself with are actually a secret cabal of geniuses, who are only pretending to be fuck-ups to put us mere mortals at ease.

Of course I could’ve written this at any point in the last five years. Cronyism has been rampant in this administration from the beginning. I’m not sure why it’s suddenly as popular a topic as Avian Flu. I really didn’t intend for this comic to fit right into the Democratic talking points for the week. The idea of saying the same thing as everyone else creeps me out. So I’ll just end it here.

Next week is the long overdue return of the Book Bin. Speaking of books, why don’t you buy one before the DOW dips below 10,000 and we all have to start eating our shoes?

Gore On The Media

Although saying it often results in snickering and accusations of tin-foil haberdashery, Al Gore won the 2000 election. Historians will point to Bush v. Gore as the very instant our nation went nutty bananas cuckoo.

By no means a perfect candidate, every speech Gore’s given in the five years since offers a glimpse of what might’ve been if the Supreme Court didn’t interfere where they didn’t belong. His recent speech on the media says much more eloquently what I’ve been saying about the media ever since I started to take an interest in things other than filling an empty growler.

I tend to be more angry with the media than Republicans because I don’t expect anything out of the GOP. They are for corporate rights, not giving a shit about their neighbors, and stomping as many queers as they can in their free time. They suck, but being douchebags is encoded in their DNA. Expecting anything better out of them is like expecting your chimp not to rip your balls off. It’s just nature’s way.

The media however, is supposed to be a more productive part of our society. But instead of doing their fucking job, they’ve been gobbled up by a few corporations and become nothing more than a delivery medium for boner drug ads.

Gore’s speech is rather long, and I know a sizable portion of you won’t even read one of my comics if it has too many words, so here are the excerpts that resonated with me:
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