As promised, here are some jokes about inventions. And yes fellow nerds, I’m aware that ARPANET was never intended to survive a nuclear attack. It was merely designed to allow access to the few computers that could do things in the time before Pong.
Although I only brought it up so I could draw a church in a uterus, fundamentalists really believe they have some property rights to every woman’s lady parts. And now the federal government has issued guidelines that treat women as nothing but baby factories, which completely ignores their usefulness as jiggling objects in rap videos. (To prevent any confusion like what happened here: That’s a joke.) Mikhaela has a much better comic on the issue.
In case you don’t remember year-old celebrity gossip, the Alexander Graham Bell joke is about Pat O’Brien’s skeevy voicemails. It’s no longer on the site, but I made fun of O’Brien in an earlier cartoon. Buy a book and see how unfunny it was for yourself!
Next Week: God’s Goofballs
September 15th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
I bet Lou Dobbs could get the xenophobia car up to like 120 mph.
Pat Buchanan, of course, would break the sound barrier.
September 16th, 2006 at 6:39 am
Classic.
September 18th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
I have to admit, for a guy, that’s a decent drawing of a uterus.
Of course the time machine would be lost back in time; if you were some super geek that didn’t have a chance in hell of getting laid, wouldn’t you stay in the world were women were plentiful and where morality, church, and child support didn’t exist? Just bring a gun because those cave men would kick ass!
September 19th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Well, I went to school in the northeast, where sex education was pretty thorough. However, I’d be at a loss if asked to draw a vas deferens.
I probably put too much thought into this, but if I had a time machine, I’d go to the time right before Edison, and make a fortune by inventing his stuff before him. I’d then use that fortune to chase Victorian ladies while riding that bicycle with the big wheel in the front.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
Wouldn’t a time machine be great for taking lottery numbers back with you and hitting the big one again and again. I have always wondered what it would be like to live on the West Coast after the gold rush or during the Roaring 20’s as a Flapper; either way I would find a way to cause trouble.
September 21st, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I’m usually a big fan of twenties slang, but “flapper” sounds really gross.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:25 pm
What’s so gross about a sexy woman with a wavy bob, and a black as night knee length beaded sheath dress, that outlines every hour glass curvature of her body, with her scotch on the rocks in one hand and her crimson lips with the come hither look that immediately garbs your attention; now mind you, with only one glance? That’s the time in history when certain woman had the “one up” on men and that certainly would have been an interesting time to experience….. Oh, of course up until the stock market of crash in October 1929 then it would be time to move on in the time machine so such a person wouldn’t have to sell apples on the street corner.