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Events are conspiring against me. I have no time to write a pithy entry about this cartoon. I’ll just say that if the House predictions fail to materialize (or enough votes are Diebolded away), I will go on a bender to end all benders.

Next Week: I’m going to eat a bunch of clearance candy corn. I’m still not sure what the cartoon is going to be about.

DUMBASS UPDATE! Waxman’s a congressman, not a senator. Who would’ve guessed a congressional Democrat could sneak into my consciousness like that and promote himself.

It’s the middle of the week and I should probably post something here. There’s nothing I really feel like complaining about, except for one thing that’s been bugging me for a while: The rule against putting pizza boxes with the recyclable paper and cardboard. That’s just the fat cats at the DPW exerting their power over you and me, the pizza-eating public. If I was conspiracy minded, I’d say the rule was the result of prejudice against Italians.

And while I’m talking about garbage, Massachusetts should either eliminate deposits on bottles and cans, or raise them to $0.25.

I just might put on a pair of old man suspenders and bring these grievances to the next city council meeting.

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This cartoon came into existence after I mentioned the ending of the Dennis the Menace remake and my friend Rebecca asked, “Where Christopher Lloyd eats all the beans and has debilitating gas symptoms?” It was the most clinical and hilarious description of farting ever uttered. Also the image of Princess Grace stuffing her face with beans then doubling over with flatulence is hard to beat.

I’m a bit of a lazybones and didn’t want to draw a lot before I left for DC, otherwise I would’ve drawn everyone of these actors with distended, bean-filled bellies, except for Welles, which would’ve been indistinguishable from a regular portrait.

Next Week: Underreported Democrat Scandals

BFW’s fifth birthday was two days ago. I would’ve posted this then, but I just got back from SPX and had to have my car fixed. To celebrate this essentially meaningless milestone, I created a cartoon out of random panels from comics in six month intervals, starting with the first BFW cartoon ever.

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It ends in October 2005, which you can still find in my archives. You can find a lot of the earlier stuff if you buy books from my store.

And since I promised Rob Balder I’d post it at SPX, here’s the cartoon that made him a BFW fan. I don’t know what kind of sauce he was on at the time, because if I saw that today, I’d point and laugh at myself.

On an unrelated note, I’ve been using Last.fm for a year now. I’ve listened to a shitload of music. Maybe I should go outside at some point.

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This update comes right in the middle of all the fun with the CWA gang at SPX. There’s nothing I need to add to this cartoon, so I will spend the time I would’ve wasted writing something on resting up after my harrowing adventure down the I-95 corridor.

I’m about to hit the road for various DC events. Check my front page or my previous post for details. I’m sure I’ll find wifi somewhere, but if Friday’s update is late, that’s why. If you’re in DC, swing by and say hello, and buy something, perhaps, maybe, please?

Bonus points to anyone who talks to me about something other than comics and politics. I’d rather talk about pumpkin fungus. Seriously.

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These are some dumb snacks I made up. I could claim that this is a commentary on obesity in America, but I’m not fooling anyone.

I hate the water that condenses and pools at the top of ketchup bottles. If I was in Gitmo right now and a CIA torture specialist gave me the choice of being peed on or eating soggy ketchup water fries, I’d have to think about it.

Upcoming events

Thursday, October 12 7PM – I’ll be appearing at Politics & Prose with fellow Cartoonists With Attitude, Ted Rall, Mikhaela Reid, Matt Bors, Jen Sorensen, Masheka Wood, August Pollak, Stephanie McMillan, and Ben Smith.

Friday-Saturday, October 13 & 14 – I’ll also be at the CWA table at SPX in Bethesda, MD. I’m sure I will get bored standing around, so come early!

Stop adding “gate” to the end of scandals. You all sound like morons. If you’re desperate to give a cutesy name to the Foley scandal, I suggest “Perv Dome.” This has been bothering me at least since “Lewinskygate” came into wide use.