Chinese Product Recalls

You wouldn’t believe the lengthy internal debate I had over that last panel. I went back and forth between “stuck to your butt” and “stuck in your butt” dozens of times. In the end (Ha! Get it?), I opted for “to.” It’s slightly less gross and also the more likely outcome in a superglue-butt sex mishap, assuming superglue sets as fast as I think it does.

I’ll probably return to this bit when my chuckle well is running dry.

Next Week: Manly Men of Manliness

Harming Baby’s Self-Esteem (For Fun!)

Stinker

I found this awesome picture while looking for reference photos for this week’s cartoon. I wonder where the little stinker is now. Also, can someone make that bib into a t-shirt for me? My birthday’s coming up, you know.

Obviously I have nothing to write about this week. I’ve got crap that’s piling up higher than crap in a ten-story craphouse. So this is just a brief excursion into procrastinating.

In other news, Flight of the Conchords has been renewed for a second season, or “series” for you silly silly non-Americans. Now you have at least another year of me phoning in mid-week posts with clips from their show.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Wiretap Man

I already posted my thoughts on warrantless wiretapping over a year and a half ago, back when it was still illegal. Remember when I made long-winded posts like that? I think we can all agree that our lives are far richer with my more limited posting regimen.

Still, it’s an issue I’m deeply concerned with. I don’t want to repeat what I said oh those many months ago, but it’s hard not to. Anyone who’s willing to give up a good chunk of their freedoms to feel a little bit safer against an unlikely threat is an asshole. Those “if you’re not doing anything wrong, what are you complaining about?” assholes are the worst.

I’m obviously not plotting the end of the world when I take a shit, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool shitting in full view of the feds. I’m a very private person. I don’t like it when my friends learn about my weekend plans that don’t involve them, so you can imagine my consternation at a government that insists on tracking my every dorky move across our fair continent.

The insanely retarded Protect America Act is supposed to sunset in six months. If it doesn’t, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson should stick things in all of our butts as we sleep.

Anyway, others have covered this topic far more eloquently than I. Like Ben.

Next Week:
Recalls from China (Non-PC Version: Recalls from Ching Chong China)

My God, It’s Full of Trees!

Harold Parker Trees Small

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time at Harold Parker State Forest. I’m just starting to put together a mental map of the place, but what I’ve found so far has been a lot of fun to ride.

Harold Parker Trees Shadow small

That’s a self-portrait I call “Bad Posture Shadow.” More photos and silly captions can be found on my Flickr page.

Speaking of mountain biking, tick bites are uncommon while biking. Unless you’re a moron President who doesn’t use DEET. Let’s hope the fucker gets West Nile and EEE too. He’ll hit the insect-borne trifecta!

Big Fat Whale Gets Beached

I still haven’t been to the beach in over five years. Perhaps the tone of this cartoon will explain why. Also, the reference photo I took of myself for the Pasty Panther panel is going to be featured in my soon to be released 2008 calendar: “Twelve Unflattering Months of Brian McFadden.” Of course Mikhaela could make her own daily version of that calendar just from her AAEC convention photos.

Next Week: Your Friend the Wiretapper

Christ It’s Humid

I just came back from the supermarket carrying three two-liter bottles of soda (yes, I have a problem.) and I’m sweating like a little piggy. If this keeps up, “Low Brow Summer” at Big Fat Whale will continue into next week with a cartoon all about my ass-sweat.