Fall 2007 Television Report

I have two hours before the game, and I could either do my fucking job, or post some bullshit about this TV season so far. Guess what Lazypants McFadden chose to do. The AV Club and TwoP do this far better than myself, but I still have opinions I want to inflict on those who couldn’t care less.

So here’s a round-up of the shows I watch in alphabetical order. Even a deadbeat jerk-off like myself can’t watch everything. Don’t be offended if I’m not watching your favorite show. I’ll catch it on my hospice’s space-television as I lay on my deathbed circa 2068.

30 Rock – Keep it up Ms. Fey. I hate to say it, but your show is a version of Arrested Development I can get my friends to enjoy without having to explain a year’s worth of references.

Dexter – The writers painted Dex into an interesting little corner this year. Too bad they didn’t bother to flesh-out the supporting cast with as much vigor.

Heroes – Why am I still watching this? It’s a Telemundo soap opera with excellent special effects, but far worse dialogue and acting.

Journeyman – I’m giving it a shot. I love time travel, Lucius Vorenus, and anything vaguely Quantum Leapy. So far the weekly “time missions” are far less compelling than the kooky effects of time travel on the recurring characters’ lives.

Law & Order CI – I adore Vincent D’Onofrio, but he should be chewing up indie screens across the country, not slumming on what’s become a campy stinkfest.

The Office – The hour-long episodes that started this season were adequate. I got the feeling they were scripted as half-hour episodes and padded out with lots of improv. That can be a good thing (Anything Prince Apatow touches, for example.), but I think it watered-down what could’ve been some of the best half-hours of television. Friends of mine know I was strongly pro-Karen last season. I still am, but can’t really find fault with Jim and Pam’s story arc. Now that the “Will they, won’t they?” tension is done with, hopefully they’ll maintain a stable relationship that serves as a contrast to all the messed-up romances of the supporting cast.

The Sarah Silverman Program – Now that this season has character development, there’s less emphasis on the ol’ “A pretty girl says shocking things” stand-by. Also, Jay Johnston and Laura Silverman need to have a romantic comedy of their own. I love those two.

The Simpsons – I’ve been watching this since the Tracy Ullman days. I should’ve stopped ten years ago.

That’s it for shows that have seasons. The Daily Show is in a bit of a funk that I think will be cured with the election season/ end of the world. I love The Colbert Report, but fear the character of Colbert is becoming what it set out to parody. Maybe I’m just not meta enough. Conan hasn’t disappointed.

I’m an effete East Coast Intellectual, so of course I love any new episodes of NOVA and Frontline. I’m not wearing a tweed jacket as I type this. I swear!

I’ll do this same sorta thing with movies once most of the Oscar contenders come out. Whether you like it or not. Here’s a sneak peek: American Gangster is good, but a little too by-the-numbers to gain any traction.

I wasted almost an hour writing this. Yay me!

Hey Cleveland

I don’t believe in curses, but maybe the media can start hyping the “Curse of the Ridiculously Offensive Chief Wahoo” as the cause of all your woes. Seriously; that grinning Sambo should’ve died in the seventies. It’s several degrees worse than the Seminoles, Chiefs, and even the Redskins’ mascots. The Celtics’ leprechaun doesn’t even register since the Irish in Boston spread way more diseases than they received in tainted blankets. (I can say that because I’m an Irish Pop Star.)

Let’s hope the World Series ends soonish. I’ve got shit to do. (Not really, but let’s pretend I have a life.)

Beisbol. Beisbol. Beisbol.

The Undead Aren’t Cool

This was going to be a snarky condemnation of Zombie Walks and zombies being the latest hipster meme. (monkeys, robots, pirates, etc. See David Malki’s cartoon about the phenomenon.) However, I realized that it doesn’t matter if bored twenty-somethings think zombies are ironically hilarious. I sincerely love the genre and couldn’t shit on it.

As a zombie enthusiast, the advantages of renewed interest in the genre far outweigh the embarrassing cons. There have been some great films and fun books in just this year alone. I’m looking forward to picking up World War Z this week. Astute readers will notice the survivor in this cartoon is heeding advice from Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide.

Pedants’ Corner: Yes nerds, I know the infected in 28 Weeks Later aren’t technically zombies.

BFW News: You have less than a week to buy original cartoon art for just half price: $75.

Next Week: More Campaign Non-Scandals

Happy Birthday BFW!

Howdy gang. Big Fat Whale turned 6-years-old today. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to crank out a collected volume of cartoons in time for this milestone or SPX. I could’ve rushed and given you all a shitty half-assed abomination, or waited until winter forced me to stay indoors and sit on my pasty rump churning out an amazing collection worthy of your hard-earned smackaroons. I chose the latter. I ding-dong-guarantee you that a BFW book will exist well before MoCCA.

Speaking of SPX, thanks to everyone who stopped by the CWA table and said nice things about my work. You are very nice people. And an extra special thanks to my cartooning pals who tolerated Keef and I running off to watch the Sox stink up the ALCS.

In honor of this birthday, I’m selling original BFW art for just $75. Prices will go back up to $150 a week from now. So get it while the getting’s good.