Hello lazy media! Do you need some confused, half-retarded undecided person to interview for your radio/TV/newspaper thingee instead of doing actual journalism? Well I’m available for your shitty needs.
Firstly, I am literally small. I’m shorter than McCain, even before the Vietcong took his shins.
Secondly, this little comic doohickey counts as a small business. A very shitty business that can’t afford health insurance.
Lastly, I’m not actually undecided, but I can play the part. See: “Durrr. Me no-know whut da campididates are all about. Sometime me think Eye-raq have good esplosion, but other time me get scared of Eye-raq esplosions. Also, me fall into coma for last 10 years. Is Charles still in charge?”
I should be on Nightline any minute now.