Corporate Persons Are Jerks


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The Supreme Court took a big wet shit on the shag carpet of democracy with their decision last week. Corporate personhood is garbage. A shitty human being can be shamed, or in the case of super-greedy-fucks, at least be torched and pitchforked by an angry mob. A corporate person can morph into a faceless non-person and hide behind a pile of money and an ace legal team as soon as it’s convenient.

The only rights corporations should have are the ones that protect their human participants’ individual rights. Telling ExxonMobil or Lockheed to shut the fuck up and stay out of elections doesn’t stop any of its vile, rapacious employees or shareholders from doing the same. Until Apple develops a tablet with its own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, only human beings deserve certain unalienable rights.

There were many great comics on the subject this week. Here are a few of my favorites:

Matt Bors – The Corporate Civil Rights Movement

Lloyd Dangle – This Week’s Troubletown

Abell Smith – Great Moments in American Jurisprudence

Kevin Moore – If Persons Were Treated Like Corporations (I’m sad to report that this is the last In Contempt strip ever. At least until President Jenna Bush draws Kevin away from Wanderlost in the Fugly 20s.)

Next Week: Big Fat Valentines

10 thoughts on “Corporate Persons Are Jerks”

  1. Ian – I also think “Big Wet Shit” is the Engrish translation of my comic strip.

    Tim and Kevin – Hmm, here. Eventually. If enough folks want it, I’ll do a run. I’m hoping to figure out new t-shirt crap by spring.

  2. What’s absolutely terrifying is that skinny guy in the title panel looks like me. And what’s funny is corporations backing candidates to more or less protect corporate interests is illegal over here.

  3. A shitty human being can be shamed, or in the case of super-greedy-fucks, at least be torched and pitchforked by an angry mob.

    But I bet you’d be hard-pressed to find a willing sack o’ meat to head Goldman Sachs if a succession of high-ranking individual greedy fucks were given the Raging Peasant treatment.

    You can even find where they fucking live ONLINE. Or at least where their tax papers live.

  4. Chris – Maybe if they were allowed to bribe politicians, Cadbury would be trying to takeover Hershey.

    Chocolatepie – I hope you are a sentient chocolate pie advocating violence, because that would be AWESOME.

  5. Warren – If I ever get into television, a turd on a shag carpet will be the logo of my production company.

    I’ll do a t-shirt design poll in the spring. Maybe something with Kickstarter to fund the production.

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