Future Fatty Foods


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Inspired by the Double Down’s recent emergence from the cholesterol-clogged gates of hell, I returned to the subject of extreme food, which simultaneously appalls and fascinates me.

I’m not a food prude; I love cheese and pig meat. But things are getting crazy in the garbage-food industry. Baconators, the Heart Attack Grill, and any new food Dunkin’ Donuts has come up with in the last few years take a perverse pride in the unhealthiness of their products. At least the tobacco industry had the decency to downplay the awfulness of their products.

It’s your digestive system and arteries and you can eat whatever you want. It’s none of my business if your only exercise is spending hours squeezing out five pounds of garbage on the toilet.

Extreme food requires extreme cooking, which is something Jen covered a couple weeks ago.

Why not skip the combo meal today and buy the Big Fat Whale book? It’s full of comics, and after you’re done reading them, you can eat the pages to clear out your impacted colon.

Next Week: Public Disservice Announcements

Arizona Boycott

Maybe it’s something about spring training that turns states into assholes.

For a state that relies so heavily on tourism, Arizona’s new immigration law is a pretty dumb move. But it’s not unprecedented. As a whole, the US is a giant pain in the ass for tourists, with all the fingerprinting and general “guilty until proven innocent” vibe we give them at customs. Arizona just expanded the hassle to its own citizens, particularly the brown ones.

I’m not going to write much about the “Papers, Please” law since it’s been covered so much this week, but I want to direct you to Matt’s cartoon, which went up within hours of its passing.

I’d boycott Arizona, but I’ve been doing that my entire life without even trying. PF Chang’s, Go Daddy, John “My Friend” McCain? Arizona, quit making garbage so I can boycott you!

Going Green Guide


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Earth Day is coming up, so here are some helpful tips.

I’m late posting this, so I won’t type much. Do you know how hard it is to fart into your elbow? Only Cirque du Soleil members should attempt it.

Check out the Guardian’s Greenwash blog for real-life instances of people painting some leaves on some shit.

Next Week: Financial Reform Proposals

Insane Physicist Posse

Color pixels arranged on your screen in a comical fashion? It’s a fuckin’ magical miracle you neden heads!

If you missed the ICP un-science anthem that swept the web last week, here it is:

The CDC should force Faygo to print basic, grade-school level science facts on their labels.

I’ve covered the Large Hadron Collider before. It’s still a few years from operating at full “fuck particles way the fuck up” power, but it looks like it’s now safe from time-traveling, probability-bending ripples.

My Day at the Tea Party

Boston’s socialist Common was occupied by the Tea Party today to protest socialism and melanin. I stopped by for a couple hours and soaked up the stupid.

There were a decent amount of people there, probably a couple thousand, but I’d guess half were rubberneckers like myself or counter-protesters. Even if you lump us all in the same count, it was nowhere near the size of the Iraq War protest seven (!) years ago.

More pictures after the jump!

Continue reading My Day at the Tea Party

Server Migration

A quick service note, I’ll be changing server locations sometime this weekend. The site will be down for a bit, and if you have problems viewing it after that try clearing your cache.

My apologies to all of you weekend internetters.

Nondeductible Charities


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Here are some jokes for tax time.

I have nothing especially long-winded to write about them, so I’ll use this space to ask you to please consider buying the BFW book, Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums. It’s a bargain and goes a long way in keeping me in business as newspapers continue to struggle at figuring their shit out. And a big sloppy, wet thanks to everyone who’s already bought it!

I’m still in the early stages of planning new BFW t-shirts. A busy April and May probably means I won’t be making any decisions until June, so if you have any input, send it my way!

Belated news about original art. BFW has been all digital for over six months now, so there’s a limited supply of bristol board inked with my dick and fart jokes.

Next Week: Going Green Guide