Liveblogging Outsourced

The liveblog is over, and I feel significantly dumber for watching this ignorant, lowest common denominator, racist abomination. I’ll be ignoring it from now on, and hopefully Parks and Rec will return to the Thursday night comedy nerd playground soon.

Also check out Todd VanDerWerff’s recap over on the AV Club. He hates this shit almost as much as me and should consider the mailing of the review DVD a hate crime.

10:00 It ended with a shit joke! I can’t wait for the Mexico-based spin-off, or shall I say “shit-off?” No. End this show now. Tomorrow I shall eat Lamb Vindaloo and Peshwari Naan to make amends for watching this turdburger.

9:52 Hey! Wait a minute! Why isn’t Fisher Stevens in this?

9:49 Commercials are a peephole into the part of America I fear and loathe.

9:47 This show is some defensive xenophobic bullshit right here. RATINGS Gold!

9:43 I want to see the Sikh fuck the American up.

9:39 This show hates Indians, Americans, and Australians.  But it doesn’t think it hates Americans.

9:37 Fuck these guys. Indian food is delicious.

9:35 This should have been titled “Van Wilder Goes to India and Is Not Funny There Either.”

9:33 I hear the green screens in India are beautiful this time of year.

9:31 Poor Matt Walsh. He’s so good. (Elsewhere.)

9:29 ARE YOU READY TO OUTSOURCE YOUR LAUGHTER TO SOMEONE WATCHING A FUNNY SHOW?

9:26 Although it flies in the face of continuity, I love web-savvy Creed.

9:19 For the last six or so years, I’ve been haunted by Kathy Bates’ tits in About Schmidt.

9:12 This Luke crap could’ve been a good Modern Family crossover.

9:02 So now The Office is aiming for actual Michael Scotts as its target audience?

8:56 I hope 30 Rock references Comedy Death Ray’s other crowd-pleasing bit: PLUGS!

8:45 I hope Matt Damon gets to punch Julianne Moore for her Boston accent sometime soon. On 30 Rock or real life. Either’s cool.

8:35 This Studio Facebook on the Farmville Strip movie looks pretty good!

8:29 The Office is going to start with a stuck-in-a-elevator episode? It smells like jumped-shark up in here.

8:26 Senor Chang!

8:24 Starburns is Dino Stamatopoulos, the greatest Greek-American comedy hero. (Except for random hairy dude at the beach.)

8:19 25-year-old me would scoff at quality TV airing at 8, but fuck, I’m old. I was asleep at 9:30 last night.

8:15 First promo for Outsourced. The gist: Foreigners are so FOREIGN!

8:09 Community‘s takin’ jabs at Shit My Dad Says. Well done. Chevy > Shatner

8:06 Community‘s so good. But where did Trudi Campbell dump the newborn?

7:55 Ugh. Forgot watching live TV means I’m subjected to local political commercials. New Hampshire’s are adorably amateur. Massachusetts’ are filled with exaggerated accents, for inauthentic folksiness.

7:45 Watching Jeopardy before my stories start, and Christ, that set! Really craving some coke now.

Last year, Thursdays on NBC were pretty great, with the exception of that infamous experiment in aggressive mediocrity. I especially enjoyed the two newer shows, Community and Parks and Recreation. 30 Rock and The Office delivered lots of laughs, but their age prevents them from offering anything truly surprising.

Since its executives apparently set the schedule by farting into a random number generator, Parks and Rec was demoted to mid-season status and replaced with Outsourced, a show about a white guy who goes to India to teach the natives how to be a douche.

There’s a ton of shitty shows premiering this fall, so why am I singling this one out? It’s being aggressively advertised on websites I frequent and now I want to punch that guy and his coworkers in their fucking multicultural faces.

Stop by this post tonight at 9:30 and join me in the unfun!

8:56 I hope 30 Rock references Comedy Death Ray’s other crowd-pleasing bit: PLUGS!

Catching Up

It’s been forever since I posted something here besides the weekly comics. Sorry about that. Summer and furnishing the apartment left little time for me to blather on about nonsense.

If you weren’t reading Ted Rall, Matt Bors, and Steven Cloud last month, dig through their archives to read and see their Afghanistan adventure. SPOILER ALERT: They don’t die.

I’m pretty burnt out on politics these days since I am not a moron. August made a more eloquent version of that statement last month. I have no idea how sane people can closely follow politics for decades. I’ve only been paying attention for ten years, and this shit has already gotten too repetitive. Conservatives are assholes. Liberals are pussies. Rinse. Repeat. Then shoot me in the fucking head.

Now onward towards OPTIMISM! As daylight becomes scarce, I turn to the warm, comforting glow of television. There’s a lot more great television than films these days, and I’m having a hard time keeping up. If you missed its run over the summer, check out Louis CK’s Louie on Hulu or DVD as soon as it’s available. I’m also super excited for AMC’s Walking Dead, because I love zombies as long as hipsters and flash mobs aren’t involved.

Of course there’s shitty television too. I will liveblog some of it tonight. A post about that will be coming later today.

Unemployment Survival Tips


click for comic

This goes out to all of you unemployeds, underemployeds, and discouraged folks who are no longer actively looking for jobs. Special thanks to that last group for making unemployment numbers look better than reality!

And if you have a job, buy some BFW stuff so I can upgrade my couch cushion cubicle.

Next Week: Tabloid Science