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I drew another cartoon about shitty jobs almost two years ago, and the job market is still in shambles. Obviously, cutting programs is the only solution. Returning tax levels to anything resembling sanity, and spending it on much-needed infrastructure, which also happens to create jobs, is impossible. Because the wealthy are cunts and the majority of voters naively think they’re gonna be rich one day too. Fat chance, dum-dums!

As for content farms, I’m not just talking about HuffPo, but what seems like every goddamn website that claims to be about news. I stopped reading TPM after they started pulling the lame pageview-grubbing slideshow bullshit, and may do the same for the Boston Globe’s website after this crap was hogging front page real estate for most of the week :

Quality journalism, you guys!

Next Week: Awful Ailments

I didn’t see enough of the Oscar contenders this year to have an opinion on who should win. I’ve only watched the stuff that’s out on DVD, and out of that small crop, Inception‘s my favorite.

As for the Best 3D Movie to Watch While High, I think that should go to Piranha, which was actually filmed with 3D cameras, not that blurry 3D conversion cash-in bullshit. But if you remove the 3D requirement, Machete deserves to win. It was by far the funniest movie I’ve seen all year, and probably raised my expectations way too high (Pun-Fun!) for Hobo with a Shotgun.

And yes, I’m still peeved that Oscar-Baitin’! didn’t win any awards last year.

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Michelle Obama thinks people should shove less garbage down their maws. This has made a bunch of dummies angry. The real problem is that garbage-food is cheaper than the healthy kind, and people have no money because her husband is busy extending tax cuts for rich assholes instead of focusing on jobs.

There was a made-up controversy earlier in the week over this cartoon about Michelle Obama’s food-advocacy. It is not racist. It’s lame and unfunny, but not racist.

This is the 500th BFW cartoon, and in honor of that meaningless milestone, I shaved a couple bucks off the price of signed copies of Fun Stuff for Dum-Dums. Buy a copy today so I can afford to shop at the Whole Foods that’s moving into my neighborhood.

Next Week: New Careers in the New Economy

I’m finally making good on my promise to start churning out BFW Quickies again. Who knows how long that will last. Probably until baseball season.

I’m sure I have “Sidewalk Rage,” if that’s even a thing, but why do slow-walkers get a pass from that fuckin’ article? The disabled and anyone with a kid who can no longer fit in a bjorn have obvious excuses, and I’ll make exceptions for tourists when I make the dumb decision to visit a touristy part of town (Fenway, and that’s about it.), but a regular ol’ adult who walks slowly just to smell the fuckin’ roses? Fuck that selfish asshole.

The best advice comes at the very end of the article:

Most people tend to look down as they walk. That’s a mistake, says Mehdi Moussaid, a cognitive scientist at the University of Toulouse who models walkers’ behavior on public sidewalks and was an author of the PLoS One study. Some of his advice: Look up and take a wide-angle view to catch openings and slip through.

Cool tip, scientist. I think you’ve been watching too much Arrested Development.

On a serious note, unless you’re in New York City, there isn’t enough sidewalk space in cities to accommodate everyone, hence the anger. And as mad as I get at sidewalk slowpokes, it’s nothing compared to the shitheads from the suburbs who demand multiple lanes and on-street parking that cut into my precious sidewalk real estate.

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Spring may come early this year, but for now I’m still knee-deep in filthy city snow.

This is essentially the winter version of a cartoon I drew last summer. Personally, I prefer the cold and snow to heat and humidity. I can put layers and boots on, but I can’t rip off my fat, sweaty skin.

Next Week: What’s Your Food Excuse?

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I hope none of you are too snow blind to read this week’s cartoon. Perhaps I should have done a cartoon about Egypt, Tunisia, and all that this week, but those are complicated and depressing and not as dick joke-friendly as Valentine’s Day.

Next Week: Winterize Your Life