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Archive for the 'BFW Quickies' Category

March 3, 2010
Choking Resistant Hot Dog

Since the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended a redesign of the hot dog, I figured I’d toss my design solution into the ring. I willingly admit that this doesn’t beat the spiral dog.

February 24, 2010
Space-Guys…

NASA being underfunded is a damn shame. The public is too dumb to find any value in the stuff they do, so their budgets get cut while the Pentagon gets to spend trillions on bombing people and boring-ass places on Earth. Near Earth Orbit will have to be turned into a NASCAR track before enough people give a shit.

And yeah, there are other worthy things the money being pissed away by the Defense Department can be spent on, but none of them produce spectacular wallpapers for my desktop.

UPDATE: Morning Edition on NPR covers NASA’s financial pickle.

February 17, 2010
Super-Fast Bobsled Hack

Outside of porn, more money is spent on friction-reducing at the Winter Olympics than anywhere else. The Winter Olympics will be the undisputed leader once snowman-fisting becomes a recognized event.

If you want more Olympics coverage, David Rees has been hilariously liveblogging them all week.

February 10, 2010
Conversation Hearts

I was going to include these in Friday’s valentines comic, but there wasn’t enough room. Consider this a slapped-together deleted scene from the BFW DVD. (I just DP’d your eyes with ACRONYMS!)

February 2, 2010
Happy Losthog Day!

My apologies if you’re not a fan of Lost or rodent meteorologists.

January 27, 2010
State of the Union

I predict lots of platitudes about jobs, spending freezes, and kissing the asses of human-jizz-stains like Lieberman and Baucus. At least this shit won’t be pre-empting Lost.

January 20, 2010
Truckosaurus 2012

First, for you monster truck pedants, I know Truckosaurus’s given name is Robosaurus, but that is only acceptable if it ate robots instead of shitty cars.

Scott Brown had this dumb-ass commercial where he introduced Massachusetts to his truck. I laughed and laughed, which inspired panel six of last week’s cartoon. While I was laughing, Truck Nutz throughout my state related to the important issue of having a truck and elected a tea-bagger. Naturally, the only person who can defeat Brown in 2012 is someone who has a bigger truck, a machine that eats trucks, or possibly someone who has fucked a truck.

Jen Sorensen has a more serious analysis of what happened.

For a state that’s supposedly ultra-liberal, we sure pick some real weak-ass centrist clunkers to be our Democratic standard-bearers. I’m not talking Kucinich-level cuckoo, but we could certainly use someone like Bernie Sanders.

Don’t get excited, guy in Cambridge with a recumbent bike. I’m not talking about you. You are insufferable.

January 12, 2010
Jay Leno’s Doctor

Conan O’Brien just announced he won’t be NBC or Leno’s bitch. And good for him. His Tonight Show was the best incarnation of the franchise, as far as my comedic sensibilities go. It was no Late Night, but Late Night had more than 7 months to reach its stride.

January 6, 2010
The Winter Manners Fairy Returns

He first appeared two years ago. As you might’ve deduced from that and the Boston Space Savahs cartoon, I’ve got a bit of a bug up my ass when it comes to snow-related assholery.

November 11, 2009
Men Seldom Make Passes…

Unvaccinated

Obviously this isn’t true. Plenty of men would hit on the flu virus if it had big tits and a tramp stamp of its own. And I bet it would look a lot like Tila Tequila.

Also, cough into your elbows, you sick fucks! I don’t want your snot aerosols infecting me.

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