Box Office Duds

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I enjoyed “The Avengers,” but “The Dark Knight Rises” is the only summer blockbuster I’m looking forward to. Paul Thomas Anderson’s “The Master” is the movie I’m most anticipating this year, but it’s not coming out until the fall. I guess the awesomeness that is summer television will have to tide me over.

No snark either. Breaking Bad, Comedy Bang Bang!, and a bunch of other shows are entertaining me much more than the ridiculous news stuff I have to follow for that other comic strip I do.

Shitty Cinema Season

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During my mini-vacation, I caught up with season three of Sons of Anarchy, a dumb show I watch on Netflix when I feel like gettin’ stupid. I was a couple episodes in, when suddenly Stephen King appeared, doing a pretty shitty impression of Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction, which was directed by another guy who likes to act even though he’s perfectly good at the thing he’s famous for doing.

Revenge of the Blockbuster

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It’s Memorial Day weekend, it’s in the 80s outside, 90s in my 3rd floor apartment, and that means I’ll probably watch some shitty movie just for the air conditioning. Sitting through random explosions and stilted dialogue is better than digging our air conditioner out from under the pile of winter detritus that accumulated in our storage space.

Sorry I didn’t do a Quickie this week, even though I promised someone on Twitter that I’d do one about Randy “Macho Man” Savage’s death. I’ll try to squeak it out later today before quittin’ time.

Next Week: Undeclared GOP Candidates

OsamaShark

Unless the trillions of dollars and countless lives this country wasted in its decade-long post-9-11 freak-out were found in bin Laden’s compound, his assassination isn’t much of a victory. Revenge for the victims, sure. But we’re still broke, and full of adult babies who chant “U-S-A! U-S-A!,” blissfully unaware that their country is still crumbling around them.

More than the actual attacks, the celebrations of bin Laden’s death brought me back to the days and months that followed, where jingos waved flags around like a bunch of assholes.

However, I loved Sharktopus, and would gladly like to see Syfy make this movie. If they pay me.

And the Oscar Goes to…

I didn’t see enough of the Oscar contenders this year to have an opinion on who should win. I’ve only watched the stuff that’s out on DVD, and out of that small crop, Inception‘s my favorite.

As for the Best 3D Movie to Watch While High, I think that should go to Piranha, which was actually filmed with 3D cameras, not that blurry 3D conversion cash-in bullshit. But if you remove the 3D requirement, Machete deserves to win. It was by far the funniest movie I’ve seen all year, and probably raised my expectations way too high (Pun-Fun!) for Hobo with a Shotgun.

And yes, I’m still peeved that Oscar-Baitin’! didn’t win any awards last year.

Chatroulette

In an interview with the Russian kid who created Chatroulette, he said he named it after this famous scene in The Deer Hunter. I am dubious about his claim. How could a Russian be unaware of Russian Roulette until he saw it in an American movie? They even play it at weddings over there. If he really wanted to pay homage to this fine film, he would’ve named his website “Shoot Yourself in the Head with Christopher Walken.”

Weelight


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While researching this cartoon, I learned that the clurichaun is a much cooler version of the leprechaun. I also spent too much time reading the insanity of Twilight nerds and fairy dorks who insist on spelling it faerie.

Don’t drink green beer this St. Patrick’s Day. That’s only acceptable if you have a clover tramp stamp or are a date-rapist.

Next Week: Political Blind Items

The Menstruating Ghost of Puncak

Netflix Watch Instantly, add this ASAP. I beg of you.

A NEW Indonesian horror movie about a menstruating ghost has the country’s clerics up in arms.

Hantu Puncak Datang Bulan The Menstruating Ghost of Puncak – opened in Jakarta today ahead of a planned national run.

I want Sam Raimi to direct the inevitable American version. Possible title: The Return of the Curse of the Creature’s Ghost’s Menses.

From Mr. Show’s third season

Oscar-Baitin’!

Oscar Baitin'!
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It must be fake movie week here in alt-weekly comic land, because Ruben Bolling did one called Peek-A-Boo.

I remember going to the Blockbuster (née Endless Video) in the late eighties and being fascinated by the covers for what seemed like an entire aisle of screwball sex comedies. I used elements from a lot of them, but Meatballs was my main inspiration:

Meatballs

As for this year’s Oscar season, I’m only interested in The Road and A Serious Man by the Coen brothers, which I still need to see.

It’s not even Thanksgiving, but the Big Fat Whale Holiday Bargain is already going on. I’ll post more about it next week. Right now I’m scrambling to get ready for a month-long sojourn to the Mid Atlantic.

Next Week: Stimulus II

Inchworm!

Inchworm!
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This summer, Americans made GI Joe and Transformers 2 blockbusters. Of course, many fine films that weren’t for retarded man-children also came out this year. I’ll talk about them when I finally see them; probably in the fall, while I’m in the throes of swine flu.

TOMORROW: Slideshow with me and Keef at the Burren, in Davis Square. 4-7pm. It’s right off the Red Line, and far away from the Kennedy-Craziness on Mission Hill. I’ll be showing proto-Big Fat Whale materials, some of my favorite cartoons, plus a first look at next week’s comic.

Next Week: Back-to-School Supplies